Two years old

Dear Finley, 

Today I rocked you to sleep in my arms. 

Yesterday you had a birthday. 

I realized today, even though I already knew it, that you're only going to be small for a bit longer. 

You're already so big and smart and funny. 

Today we played more then usual and I left my emails unread. 

We colored with your new colored pencils. 

We traced your hand. 

We watched Nemo, cuddled on the couch. 

You wanted to go to the park, so we did. 

We slid down the slide a million and one time and waved goodbye to it when we left. 

We raced around the block and drew with chalk out back. 

Your food became airplanes, and when you wanted juice for lunch I let you have it. 

Why not. I said to myself. Why not. 

We normally cuddle and read books before bed, but lots of times mommy is rushing. 

When you're asleep is when I get my work done. 

But not today. 

Today we laid in your bed and cuddled. We sang twinkle twinkle and back and forth and rockabye baby. You laid your head on my chest and we stared at the stars on your ceiling. "Pretty" You said. 

I rubbed your head and you tried to rub mine too. 

You're so sweet my boy. 

I love that about you. 

You're obsessed with elbows. Randomly you'll show them to me. "Elbows! Two elbows!" You'll say. You'll ask me to kiss them or rub lotion on them. 

It's so random but so perfectly perfect at the same time. 

I love everything about you Finley and I am so thankful that you are my baby. 

I love who you are becoming. 

Independant and strong and sweet and fun. 

Just don't grow too fast, okay? 

I love you to the moon and back.

xxoo

Mama

Baaaakeeekeee

Dear Baby boy,
For a few weeks now you randomly say "Baaakeekee" and me and your daddy always look at each other over the top of your head and try to see if the other one figured it out that time around.

It's been driving me crazy. Normally you get your point across, we point, you motion, we understand each other more then we probably should.
But this word.
I couldn't get it.
It was frustrating me to no end.
You'd say "baaakeekee" and kinda sway in my arms.
"Bakkkeekee?" I'd ask
"Yes" You'd say.
And we'd stare at each other both wishing we could read minds.

And then, today.

Today I was getting dinner cleaned up, Daddy was sitting at the table and you stood up in your high chair.
And swayed. Back and forth.
"Baaaakeeekeeeee" you said then a jumble of words that made no sense and "babyyyyy" in a sing song voice.
Daddy looked at me.
I looked at daddy.
"Back and forth?" he ask
You got all excited.
"Yessssss" you said in your little man voice, dimples poking out. "Baaaakeekeeee."

So tonight, we read Love you forever like we do almost every evening before we tuck you into bed.
And like every evening before I hold you in my arms and we rock.
Back and forth.
Back and forth.
Back and forth.
But tonight you try to sing with me.
"I'll love you forever I'll like you for always as long as I'm living my -" I pause to let you get baby in. You stare at me rubbing your eyes.
"baby you'll beeeee-"
"Babbbby" you say off time.
I kiss you on the nose.
You snuggle closer.

I learned what baakeekee meant today.
I rocked you back and forth in your little room on your toddler bed.
Back and forth.
Kiss on the eyes.
Cuddling closer.
Back and forth.

What's crazy is I always thought the book was creepy before I had you.
Me and your uncle Ty would laugh about it.
"Crazy parents." We'd say.
But now, I'm starting to understand her, that mom who crawls across her grown sons floor just to hold him close and rock him at night.
Be prepared.
I am starting to rationalize it. ;)

Thank you for being my son Finley Asiimwe Lane. Thank you for giving me the gift of rocking you bakeekee every night. I cherish these moments more then you will ever know.

I love you to the moon and back.

Love you. Mama

You

you are my i love you. 

Today, tomorrow and always.
I love you to pieces even when your having your very worst of days.
xxoo times a zillion.
Mama

One year

Dear baby boy,
Today marks one year home with us.
One year since you and I wove our way through the crowds getting off the plane, feet finally stepping onto American soil.
The first time for you. The first time in a while for me.
I carried you in my sling through immigration and the immigration officer was so sweet and kind and gentle.
I got teary when he congratulated us and welcomed you to your new home. Hand on your back, kissing your sweet little head, blinking back tears. Home. Home. Home.

Today marks one year since our reunion with daddy.
Hugging and kissing and laughing.
Have I mentioned how happy you make us?

One year ago today I tucked you into your little crib for the very first time and kissed you goodnight like I'd been dreaming of for years.
And while I have always held tight to the saying home is where ever I'm with you, it still felt so nice to be home, the three of us, together.

365 days later it still feels to good to be true to be able to tuck you into bed at night.
I whisper "I love you, sleep tight okay?"
and you whisper back "otay" and cuddle under your blankets with bobo by your side, finger in your mouth.

We have a routine you and I and daddy. Kisses and cuddles and books and a bath.

One year and so much has changed. I never dreamed I could love you more then I did that day we brought you back to our little apartment in the east bay.
But I do.
I love you 364 times more then that day and less then tomorrow.
I know that seems impossible to you right now, but trust me, it's the very truth.
Somehow, my heart expands and I love you more with each passing day.
You are a miracle to me and I am so blessed to call you my son.

I love you Finley Asiimwe. Happy first year home.

xxoo

Mommy

Today..

Dear  Finn,
Today I just wanted to tell you how so very much I love you. How much I will always love you. You're my favoritest and best baby and you make my heart sing. I am so lucky to be your mommy.

Hugs and kisses little man.

Mommy