Thursday, December 6, 2012

Bottling you up

December 6, 2012

Dear Finn,

I love the age you are right now. I want to bottle it up forever.

"I love you forever" I told you the other night "I'll love you for always mama" you said squeezing me tight. And literally, for a second my heart stopped.

You're so excited about your little brother coming and almost hourly you stop what you're doing and point to my belly. We tell you you're getting a baby brother for your birthday. You talk to the baby, lifting up my shirt and squeeze my belly button like he's talking back to you. "Hi baby brother" you say, hugging my belly "I love you baby."

Today you got three shots and blood drawn and you were oh so brave. You only cried a little bit. Every few minutes you would pull up your sleeve and show me your ward wounds so I could tell you once again how brave you had been.

We got your blood taken for your new little siblings home study. You were about to fight me, trying to turn away, starting to whimper as she pulled out the needle. And then I told you it was for your little brother or sister. "For two babies" I said and you stopped fighting with me and let her draw your blood. I was so proud of you. You're going to be an amazing big brother.

In the afternoon we went Christmas shopping for your little cousins and you found a hello kitty water bottle for your cousin B. You wanted it so desperately. "Please mama, pleaseeeee" You said. You were so excited and cried when I tried to make you put it back. We were only supposed to buy one present for each cousin, but you were so in love with that bottle I couldn't make you leave it behind. And so, we got it and you carried it around the store until we checked out and pulled it out of the bag as soon as we left. "A special surprise for Bentlee!!!" you keep squealing. "A special suprise!!" I can't wait until you get to help me wrap it and more importantly on Christmas when you get to give it to her.

I know this letter is random and doesn't flow right, but tonight I don't care. My heart is just overflowing so much and i have to write down how very proud of you I am and how in love with you your mama is. I don't know how I got so lucky to get to call you my son, but I want to cry whenever I think of it. I love you to the moon and back my little man and I'm so happy I get these last few months to spend on only you. We're going to have lots of mommy and Finley days as I soak up every second of having you as my son.



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